Break My Heart, but I STILL Like You.

Wow.

I JUST realized that I have liked Alexy this whole past year, and he liked me at one point... wow. I can't believe he never told me and I never told him. Wow, wow, wow. Now we're not even friends. We've gone from being really, EXTREMELY good friends to nothing. Not even acquaintances. I'll see him in the hall and maybe some classes, and that's it. We won't talk or tell each other anything, wow. I had one boyfriend this past year and a crush on Alexy's good friend (he also liked me) but I still wanted Alexy. Maybe if I had told him, then maybe, oh maybe we could have saved our friendship and maybe become something more. God, I hate that word... maybe. This is the reason why it hurt so damn much when he started ignoring me and acting different towards me. I had become annoying to him like I would always call his name in Spanish class because he wouldn't answer me. I did that because I wanted his attention, didn't he know? He started acting different towards me the month after he liked me (which I found out from his friends). Ugh I regret not telling him. I hate saying that I'm done with him and everything that happened, but now I hate being done, and I hate saying maybe. I WISH there were a time machine for me and my lost heart. Oh it hurts. Gah why didn't I see it?! I mean I would joke with him and comment on his FB photos telling him he's sexy and he would joke back, but maybe he wasn't joking? AHHHHH.

Well on the bright side I DID tell him that I liked him this past year, on formspring.... anonymously. I would've left my name so he would've known but it was too late by then because he would just be mean and laugh and embarrass me to everyone. What I don't understand is why he had to be so mean to me over me getting annoying to him. Like he didn't HAVE to call me a bitch especially since I never did anything to him. I NEVER was rude to him nor did I call him mean names, actually I SUPPORTED him with everything! When he told me he liked a friend of ours I hoped something would happen. Gah! Not ONLY that, but I was his first friggen friend at our school and he is gonna go and be mean!

Sadly, I STILL like him... and I HATE that I do.

^That is a secret, so shhhh.

P.S. I was the ONLY one he was being like that to. I think he was also kind of upset that nothing happened, but that's just my opinion.